Bank of America's Social Media Transparency

by Cara Lentz
File under: Fake Tech17 Dec 2013 1:16 EST

Ah, Web 2.0. That wonderful new portal of commercial life in which companies and customers can interact directly, personally, and transparently. Scammers, swindlers, and low-lifes beware: you cannot flee your web reputation, so make sure you can give a clean and honest account of yourself before the public. Credible major corporations like Groupon, Apple, and Bank of America are building up their digital reputations as we speak...

See, that's supposed to be you in the center, the potential or current Bank of America customer. Swinging the proverbial hammer over your shoulder at the Bank of America national carnival in hopes of winning back your house, or at least a car in which to sleep. And having a good time, or else getting shamed in the stocks of low credit damnation.

These are cultural staples enjoyed by almost a million and a half people, no doubt proud graduates of Khan Academy. However, we should point out that a large portion of this number may consist of bank employees, bots (literal or metaphoric),and a certain vocal percentage of 'troll' admirers. Who could resist when you get to see rich material like this on your Facebook feed...

And cue the peanut gallery...

But the fun is just getting started. 

Well, Mr. and Mrs. America? What say you? 

There we go, that's the spirit. Tell 'em how it is, digital democracy! Even if it means risking being heard, and the somewhat creepy prospect of an anonymous B of A employee 'reaching out' to you for 'additional information'...

You can also take the disengagement approach...

... but that may not be too wise. After all, you do need a credit score. 

But if what our pals Lee and Scott are saying has any merit at all, people may be a bit too demoralized to care anymore...

Good to see 'liz' from B of A step in and restore credibility. This corporate culture of engagement and honest dealing at Bank of America ensures it recieves many pity compliments happy success stories, which no doubt are disseminated in the company newsletter. 

So if you want to work for Bank of America's social media department, or anywhere else in Fakenation for that matter, remember Rule #1: Always Stay On Message. People will fling all kinds of objections, protests, even insults at you, but don't go out of your way to refute every malcontent. Some people just can't be happy, and after all, you are Bank of America, and you are too big for the peanut gallery.

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